I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
this hospital has no fireball
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
