My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
