..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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