he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
