that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
