I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
