Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
