hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can text with my tongue
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
