garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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