I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
