I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
