You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
