this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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