better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
