it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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