Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
