Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
