he was CRYING into my vagina
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
