At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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