I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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