Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
