I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
