she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
