Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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