No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Alive.
So much puke
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
