You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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