apparently the secret to your success is patron
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
