Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
