she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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