Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
