I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
