Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
