You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
