I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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