How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
