We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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