His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
