I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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