Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
