Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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