I showed him my bush... on skype.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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