I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
