How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
