I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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