yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dick very happy bro
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
