on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
