Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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