Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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