Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
