i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
