I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
