He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
third nipple confirmed
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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